Comments made on Hamish’s blog- “Social media is a fake socialising environment.”


Hi there,

I like your argument topic. I think it is valid and relevant however there are a few things that you may want to look at addressing. Firstly, you haven’t always used reliable academic sources. Articles from publications aren’t an academic source as it is one persons opinion, more of a blog than a journal article written by an academic professional. Also if you are quoting something from a text or even paraphrasing it you need to add an in text citation. I feel like you might get pulled up on these things.

Comments made on Solomon’s blog “Parental Advisory.”


Hi Solomon. I like your introduction. You have a catchy title and the introduction itself is easy to read and full of interesting facts and statistics that back up your argument well. I also like how you have inserted the hyperlinks into your text. What a great idea! I agree with your point, that a huge chunk of the content we see on TV and movie screens is packed with violence and that unless we actually prevent our children from watching TV or movies there is no real way to prevent them from being exposed to it. I agree that a good option for parents is to discuss the content of the material with the child to educate them about what is fantasy and what is fiction and what is right and wrong. Great start!:)

Comments made on Nicole’s blog “Sex offenders should permanently be removed from society.”


I understand your thought process and why you believe that sex offenders should be removed from society however I don’t think this is a viable idea. When you say “remove” what exactly do you mean? How would you even police that? To make convicted sex offenders stay out of society?
An American Journalist called Lisa Ling covered a story similar to this where sex offenders are living in tented cities on the outskirts of the cities because they are unable to get employment or housing due to their convictions. They are denied basic human rights like running water or heating. They live in squalor. And some of them didn’t even commit the crime they were convicted of.
I am in no way justifying the actions of sex offenders. I agree that their acts are unspeakable however I do also believe that not everyone convicted is accurately done so. There are some that slip through the cracks and because of this they live their lives as social pariahs. Do you not believe that everyone deserves redemption? I think it is unfair to place every convicted sex offender into one box and say that they will re offend. I personally do not think your argument has enough substance to back it. It is just not a viable solution.



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